Tag Archives: life

It’s part of the journey

Do you ever feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride and the attendant decides to take an extended lunch break? So you’re riding along and having fun, the ride slows down and you enter the chute where you will exit the ride, but the ride doesn’t stop. It goes right on through the chute and back up you go.

Maybe it will be fun to go again, you think.

You come to a slow and enter the chute again, expecting to stop this time, and continue right on through and back up again.

That’s what I feel like right now. I just want to get off of the roller coaster and take a breather.

I mentioned a few days ago that God was moving Big time, and it was wonderful! But ya know what happens when God moves? Satan gets worried that he’s losing the battle and he starts getting ugly. He fights dirty too. Pulls out all the nasty stuff and uses it to pull us back to his ways.

So, there’s a battle going on. It’s ugly. It’s not fun. It makes me cry.

It makes me lean closer to God.

It makes me call my prayer warriors.

It draws me nearer to Christ.

For some, it makes them question.

I know the victor. I will stand firm in His promises, and know that this is working for His good. He has a plan and I’m trying not to step in the way, all the while I’m trying to lead by example.

It’s not easy because I’m human and I fall short every day. The beauty of that is forgiveness and grace.

If only we choose to accept it.

So I will continue to ride this coaster until the journey is done. Each hill gets us closer.

Friday Fragments

I can only think in short bursts right now, so this is going to be in list form.

  1. This has been a really good week in that God is moving BIG time in the heart of someone I love dearly. I’m talking radical changes that make my head spin! It’s a total answer to prayers, but I also know it is a journey that begins with a single step. That step can go forward or backward. There will be good days and hard days. We’ve had a few of both. There’s been lots of tears and laughter, and they seem to go together right now. I am trying to let God run the show and not take over, which is hard for me. I want to step back and let Him lead us. I’d appreciate your prayers for this!
  2. This has been a trying week because I feel under pressure. I feel the pressure to remain positive and strong, when sometimes I’m just lost. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m human, and I need to fully rely on God
  3. Homework has been a chore for the youngest this week. He had a project for a famous American, so there was writing and memorization and nerves. We couldn’t find him a coonskin hat so dad saved the day and made him one out of a stuffed animal. He rocked the presentation this morning! I think part of the problem has to do with playing his iPod when he is supposed to be sleeping. I’ll be keeping the iPod for charging purposes at night from now on. Hopefully that will help with tiredness and attitude.
  4. As I type this, satan is hard at work. He sees the changes that have been happening and he’s trying to stop it from happening. Please join with me in prayer that my loved one can shut out his voices and rest in the promises of Jesus.

Undefeated- The Movie

Undefeated is a coming of age documentary from filmmakers T.J. Martin and Dan Lindsay based on the 2009 football season of the Manassas Tigers. The original plan was for a thirty minute documentary focused on O.C. Brown, and that turned into a full-blown movie project. Undefeated recently won the Oscar for Best Documentary!!

Manassas High School was founded in 1899, and the Tigers had never won a playoff game. It’s a school that doesn’t have the funds for a fancy field, proper equipment, or even a coach. What it does have though, is kids that want to be a part of something bigger.

Bill Courtney loved to coach. It was his dream actually, but it wouldn’t pay the bills, so he started his own business in 2001. He says he never quit coaching though. Coaching was his passion. His passion led him to Manassas, and 17 players that had a 6-54 record for the previous six years.

Courtney and his team of volunteers impacted those boys that were from the inner city. They cared about them and they prayed with them. It was more than just football, but it changed the way that football was played by those kids.

It changed lives.

It changed Manassas football.

There were a few times that I cried while watching. The stories of the boys are so endearing and heart breaking too. I was rooting for them personally and on the field, just like Courtney was.

There’s a line in the film where Courtney says, “If you think football builds character, it does not. It reveals character.” It’s such a powerful moment. I think I can still hear him saying it.

My husband came in while I was watching it, and sat down with me. He’s telling his friends they need to see it. That’s what I’m telling you. See it, it’s great. There are a few curse words in it, so you’ve been warned. It is PG-13, from The Weinstein Company.

Click here to watch the trailer. UNDEFEATED

This Is My Story

My pastor has encouraged us to write our story and share it, in 250 words or less. That’s not a lot of words! I was trying to keep it short and concise and ended up with 272. One paragraph was taken out completely and I ended up with 250, exactly. This is what I sent him.

I grew up spending the weekends with my grandparents, and attending church with my maternal grandparents. I didn’t know why I did it, I just did. I found out a few years ago that my dad was frequenting bars and my mom didn’t know if he would come home, or in what shape he would arrive if he did.

I was baptized at the age of 9, and fell away from God when I was in college. College is also where I met my husband.

We graduated, got jobs and were married. Almost two years later we expanded our family, and two years after that we grew again. Looking at things from a mothers eyes changed my perspective, and I knew I wanted our kids to grow up with Jesus.

It was around this time that my dad was in horrible pain from herniated discs in his back and on disability. He felt useless and picked up the gun to take his own life. Something made him cry out, Jesus help me, and at that moment my dad felt His presence so deeply that he was a changed man. He is now an Elder in his church.

My family began attending church and in 2003 my husband was baptized. He has struggled with depression and anxiety, and I know that God has carried me through those trials. Some days it felt like faith was all I had.

God is currently working miracles in my husbands heart and it makes me so happy.

My Blissdom Weekend

I only have a few minutes and I’m still trying to wrap my head around all the amazing things going on right now, so this is going to be short.

I won a free conference pass to Blissdom a while back and I was really unsure if I would be able to go or not. Well, I went and had a great time. I also met some crazy talented women! I also made some new friends for life.

I seriously mean it when I say God had this written in my plan from day one. I am blessed and incredibly honored to have amazing people in my life.

At this conference I was challenged to write something dangerous and not safe. This has been brewing in me for a while now, and I’m working on it. I promise I’m going to share it soon.

I drove home late Saturday night with the help of two energy drinks and arrived safely into my husband’s arms a little after 4 am. My family is a huge part of my heartbeat and I had missed them terribly.

It was good to be missed too!

I’m going to be making changes around here soon, so I hope you’ll continue to hang around with me.

Things I’m Enjoying

I’m linking up again with OhAmanda this week for a Top Ten List. There’s been a little sickness going around my house which has made my brain just a little bit fuzzy. I couldn’t come up with a new topic, so I’m just going to use what Amanda suggested. That’s why the title of this is strangely similar to hers. Forgive me for the fuzzy brain, and I will work in advance for next week’s topic.

These are in no particular order. That would require a clear brain as well.

10. I am enjoying my kids.

They are getting along, and it’s such a sweet thing! Last night, Brooke decided to make brownies with a peanut butter icing that she whipped up from scratch. (They should have a place on this list. So. Very. Good!) While she was doing this, the boys were sitting in the kitchen and they were talking to one another! Granted, they may have been silently begging for a taste of brownies, but I enjoyed listening to them.

9. Maraschino cherries.

I picked up a jar at the grocery thinking I would splurge and put a couple in my diet coke. When I put two in, they looked lonely. I ended up with six in the cup and it was so tasty. I also enjoy them in my water, and it adds a nice pink touch to it. I guess it makes me feel like a kid!

8. Basketball

Brooke is cheering on the Cougars and and Matthew is playing on the Louisville Cardinals team. This last weekend we had 5 basketball games, and I loved every minute of it!

7. My awesome church

Every Sunday God is in the house! I alternate between frantically taking notes and mesmerized and unmoving. I am fed with the Word, and encouraged to feed myself the rest of the week.

6. Siri

This is my first iPhone, and Siri just rocks! We left the basketball game Saturday night and we were starving. I promptly asked Siri for the number to Pizza King and she asked me if I wanted her to dial it. I didn’t even have to dial!

5.Bed Head Hair gel

Call me crazy, but I’ve been letting my hair grow out, and it’s been quite a while since my last trim. My hair is thick and naturally wavy, but I normally straighten it. The longer the hair gets, the more time it takes to straighten it. I’ve been lazy lately and just going with the waves.

4. Reading the Bible in 90 days

I’ve done this a few other times, and I get so much out of it every time. Every single time I am in God’s Word, He speaks to me.

3. Ecclesiastes

Solomon teaches that true satisfaction comes from knowing we are following God’s purpose for our life. It’s not found in things like money, knowledge, or popularity. That’s a great thing to read often.

2. Praying friends

I am so thankful for praying people in my life. I’ve used them a lot lately, and God is pressing me to write about it, but I’m not quite ready yet. Do you have people that you can call or text and know they will stop right then and pray? If not, contact me and I will be that person for you. It is such a blessing.

1. Prepping for Blissdom
I’ve never been to a blogging conference, but I won a free pass to Blissdom next month! I am so excited, and nervous at the same time. Is that even possible? Well, if not, then I’m more excited. Just a little bit nervous that I will be out of my comfort zone of being a total homebody. Slightly nervous about leaving my husband and kids at home for a few days too. Are you going??

Top Ten Reasons Why I Feel Old. Very Old.

I have a birthday coming up. Next week.

It’s not the BIG birthday, but it’s the one before the BIG one. ‘Nuff said.

I’m feeling old as of late, and here are some reasons why.

1. I have a decision to make. Embrace the grey hair or spend the money to cover it up. Honestly, I’ve tried to embrace it, and pluck it out with tweezers, and neither is really working for me.

2. This year Brian and I will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. Wow!!

3. My oldest baby has officially completed Drivers Ed and has her learners permit. (Deep breaths…Deep breaths) I still remember the feel  of her in my arms for the very first time.

4. My oldest son has had a growth spurt. We can look each other in the eyes now. I remember the first time I saw those beautiful eyes.

5. My youngest son is also growing so fast we can’t keep clothes that fit. I’m no longer able to pick him up. My baby.

6. My metabolism seems to have slowed to a turtle’s pace.

7. My knees creak when I walk up the stairs.

8. I used to be warm natured, and now I am always cold.

9. My vision is terrible!

10. As I sit here, I have a hot rice sock on my neck. I reached up to brush my hair this morning and pulled a muscle in my neck. How does this happen? I was trying to brush my hair!

Someone, please commiserate with me or tell me I’m youthful.

This post is linked up with Oh Amanda. Visit her for Top Ten Tuesday.

A little confession

On Friday evening we watched Brooke cheer the Cougars on at their first loss. It was a tough game! I love watching Brooke though, so I still enjoyed it. She is simply beautiful, loves deeply, and is so kind hearted. I am blessed to call her my daughter.

She will be starting Drivers Ed on Wednesday, so I could use lots of prayers. I’m going to be a blubbering mess!

Saturday brought with it Matthew’s second basketball game of the season. He has picked up a lot since last year, and it’s fun to watch him understand what’s going on. It also helps that Brooke’s boyfriend is an awesome player on the Varsity team, and he is eager to help Matthew out.

Here’s where the confession comes. Are you still there? I’m just a little competitive. Ok, maybe a lot! I could tell you that I just want him to have fun, but I really want him to win. I want him to have fun while winning. I don’t know where this comes from, because I didn’t play any sports when I was little. But something comes out in me, and it’s not pretty.

This year we have a referee, and he makes some calls, but he clearly stated that they didn’t want him to make too many. Well, when a kid takes my baby down to the floor, I expect a call. I almost came off the bleachers to save Matthew, but thought better of it when Brian looked me in the eye and told me “it’s ok.” Obviously it was NOT ok, as some kid just took. my. baby. down!! Then his mom cheers him on! This is when something snapped in me, and I yelled out, “don’t let him push you around, Matthew!” And the next time Matthew scored, I cheered extra loud. Looking back, I’m not proud of my behavior. I am proud of Matthew though.

That evening we had the pleasure of traveling to another Cougars game, and watching them pull off an awesome win. The calls were terrible, and it was a close game up to the last second, but it was probably the most exciting basketball game I’ve been to. Everyone left smiling.

Yesterday we cleaned the house a little and Brooke’s boyfriend spent the day with us. He was outside playing basketball with the boys while Brooke finished a project, and I think she might have been jealous. It was sweet. Matthew has been having a hard time leaving me for school lately, some days he has cried and not wanted to get out of the car in the drop off line. This has gone on for a couple of weeks now, and it always rears up at the last minute in drop off, until last night. Last night, he became very teary when I said there were only eight more days of school until Christmas break. He told me he didn’t want to go to school because he misses me too much when he’s there. We spent some time laying on my bed talking, crying, and praying. I told him that we thought our family was complete, and then I decided we needed one more child, and that Jesus gave us him. I shared with him that Jesus knew what He was doing, and that He has great plans for Matthew. Also that He’s always with us, so when we get scared, all we have to do is call out to Him. We prayed a lot, and we went to bed in a better place.

I didn’t wake up today with that same light heart though. I hit the snooze button, so there wasn’t time for me to do my bible reading. I was grouchy when I walked into the kitchen that I had cleaned yesterday, and discovered a large mess on the table and in the sink where someone made muddy buddies and didn’t clean up after themselves. The dog was into EVERYTHING! I was also dreading waking Matthew up. I didn’t want to deal with any more tears, and I was just a grump. Little things kept hitting me, and I know it was satan. Brooke waited until this morning to print off her project and the printer needed to run a test print first. Her ride showed up and she told them to go on, so I had to take her to school. I was in a full blown tizzy by that time. When I came back home, Matthew and I sat at the kitchen table together. I could tell that he was trying to hold back the tears, and he could probably tell I was being overly talkative. We were doing well until he reminded me that we needed to fill out his reading log, and I couldn’t find it. I made one out, and we were racing out the door to make it to school on time. I drove to the end of the road, came to a rolling stop and turned right. As soon as I did, I saw the cop sitting there. When I passed him, he pulled out behind me, and next I saw his lights. I knew what I had done. I was guilty and wrong. And running late.

The officer was very nice and just gave me a warning. I know I should stop. Completely.

We went off and made it to school in time. Both of us were trying to hold it together by this time, and we managed to do so. I promised him last night that we would do something special if he didn’t cry, so tonight we made homemade sugar cookies together. As we were sitting at the table, he said, “thanks for bringing me into this world.” I chuckled as I asked him where that came from, and he said, “you know, last night when you were talking to me about wanting another baby, thanks for having me.” My heart melts!

My Weekend

I’ve been looking on Polyvore for something that will represent what we did this weekend, and I can’t find anything. I did a whole lot of nothing exciting. We didn’t even go out to eat at our favorite Mexican restaraunt!

We are battling teenage drama and tiredness.

I am tired.

I could cry right now.

No polyvore this week.

Pray for me please? I’m in a funk with a bad attitude/outlook.

Thank you!