It’s the backwards edition over at Rocks In My Dryer, and that means instead of me racking my brain to come up with what works for me, I get to ask you the questions. You then leave me a comment and share all your expertise with me. For more pleas of help, visit Rocks In My Dryer.
I can’t decide what I need more, so I’ll ask all of them. The first is about coupon clipping. I’ve been trying to stay on top of the coupons, but they are overwhelming me. Do you clip every coupon and file them away, or keep the coupons in the fliers and carry those around with you? I read somewhere about keeping the coupons in a binder, stored in baseball card sleeves, but after only one month of clipping it is so full. How do you categorize them? I feel like a crazy person standing in the aisle looking for that one coupon I know I have for something that wasn’t advertised on sale, but it is. I don’t think the binder is working for me, but don’t know what would either. Please Help…
The second thing is a spiritual question. God is placing something on my heart, and it is so not me. He’s asking me to step out in faith. What are your thoughts on teaching young girls about purity, and purity pledges? At what age do you think this is appropriate to begin? I read in a magazine a while back about a family that started a purity ball, where the dads and daughters attend together and sign a pledge of purity. The dad makes a commitment to help his daughter with that pledge. My daughter will be 12 in couple of months, and the naive mom in me wishes that is too young. The “in the know” mom tells me I need to open my eyes. The world is changing, and not for the better in this area. Things are going on in middle schools that shock me. So this question may make you think, but please do comment and let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for participating!
I do clip every coupon and organize them. My suggestion on your coupons would be to put in the purse size organizers. Maybe one for HBA items and another for food/cleaners. Or you can have a separate one for cleaners/paper products and have three purse size organizers. I have one purse size and then use a index filing box for the rest of mine , but am thinking of going to the three purse size organizers myself.
As far as your second question, I have a friend and with her daughter they had a ceremony with scripture reading of purity. They then gave her the ring, as a symbol of staying pure. I thought that was a really neat idea. If worn everyday she would have a reminder of her commentment.
I really wished I would have reread what I wrote before submitting! Excuse the spelling errors and its “a ring”, not the ring. I wish you the best. : )
I clip only the coupons I might actually use, and store them in a small accordion file (the size you would file cancelled checks in) that I picked up in the Office Supplies aisle of the megamart.
I file them by category, and I keep all the coupons ordered by expiration date. (Sooner expiration to later, front to back, in each section.) When they expire, I toss them.
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I read about that purity ball a few years ago, and it seemed bit odd to me. Those girls were so young, and pairing them off with their dads at a quasi-date…maybe it’s just me.
12 is not too young to talk formally about purity, especially if the idea has been part of their childhoods until now. One thing I know from teaching middle school kids: all of a sudden they get shy and private when they weren’t before, and parents do themselves a favor if they parent with that in mind.
Why not talk formally with your daughter with both her parents committing to help her with her committment to purity? While Dad is the head of the home and the family, Mom’s the one who is the same gender as her daughter, after all, and might have more experiential insight to give her daughter than Dad does–particularly with menstruation. (He’s not and never has menstruated and never will, and so cannot ever be an authority on that topic.) Also, talking about sex, attraction, hormones, menstrual cycles, and the burden of reproduction (which we females bear in our bodies with more personal/bodily consequences than males bear) with the opposite-gender parent is soooooo embarrassing at that age!
I only have a 2 year old but, I was a children’s pastor for several years and I’m telling you, if you wait till after 12, her friends have already told her a lot! Probably misinformed and immature, but she’ll still know *something*. Even if it’s only dumb jokes she’s heard the boys tell. You just have to be age-appropriate.
I’m of the opinion that I’d rather tell my kid early than have someone else tell them “on time”.
One of the best books I know about this is by Robin Jones Gunn. It’s called Gentle Passages. It’s about guiding your daughter into womanhood. It’s kind of a gift book in that it’s short and has cute stories in it. But there are some fantastic ideas about setting up a lifestyle of purity and welcoming womanhood. I highly suggest it.
Anyway, just my 2cents!
(Oh, I just remembered I blogged about it awhile ago…
http://ohamanda.com/?p=135)
I am not a mother, but I work as a counselor. My thoughts on talking with children about purity… be open and honest. Let your daughter feel comfortable coming to you with questions. If she feels you are avoiding the topic, or don’t want to talk about certain things because it is uncomfortable, she will go to her friends instead. It is surprising what kids ‘know’ from their friends. From my perspective, even though it can be an uncomfortable thing for adults to talk about, I would rather talk about it, and give someone, even a child, the correct information (age appropriate of course), than have them get incorrect information from friends. And as I’m sure you know, it will be an ongoing conversation.
I personally find purity balls and pledges to Dad to be a tad odd….verging on a little sick. That said I DO whole-heartedly embrace teaching girls to “keep what they have” till they marry. 12 is WAY past time to start if your daughter is allowed to watch tv or gets to leave the house. Still, one easy starting place is the book “The Princess and the Kiss” about God’s gift of purity. [Side note: don’t bother with the workbook IMHO] This gives a great starting point. Another thing is to use the world around us! “Do you think that girl is dressed modestly–why or why not?” “Oh my! I can’t believe they singing about THAT?” “What on EARTH are you watching?” can really get the discussion going! Talk to your daughter–I’m sure she’ll shock you with stuff that’s ringing thru her mind. I have a daughter turning 12 in a few weeks–I was sad at what she’s heard and SEEN already. Even though she’s in 5th grade!!! Her brother, in seventh grade, comes home from school reeling some days. I’m about to post about the latest outrage he witnessed at school.
Here is how I organize my coupons: (click to see pics enlarged)
http://www.moneysavingmom.com/2007/10/organizational-methods-for-coupons.html
I put them in a plain purse when it’s time to go shopping, so I don’t look funny carrying a shoe box into the store, but I have them w/me if I find an unadvertised sale.
I only clip what I will use & I use this tool to make it faster:
http://veggiemomof2.blogspot.com/2007/12/works-for-me-wednesday_19.html
I based my categories on what coupons I clip. I started out just using “health & beauty aids” but had to expand that into 6 different categories when I started filling the envelopes. So I advise you to write in pencil. If you’d like a list of my categories, just email me. I don’t wanna bog your comments w/it all.
Our church’s youth group just did a “True Love Waits” series of discussions. They met weekly & it was like a bible study w/our youth pastor. They discussed things & he was open for questions. He’s young & very well liked, so it is easier for them to be open w/him than w/some parents. They are ending it w/some kind of ceremony. (dd’s not old enough for it yet)
My dd is going to be 11 in April & I hope the youth minister is around to do this again for her soon. I think it’s important for them to do it w/their peers so the do not seem themselves as the “only ones who are waiting” 😉
On the purity subject… I think it’s never too early to share about God’s gifts to marriage. If you haven’t talked about expectations before, definitely start now! It’s also never “too often” to share your hopes & prayers on her life, and pray with her and for her future marriage. A d/d ball, pledge, or ceremony is fine, but it’s going to take an ongoing commitment for her to walk in purity. Consider if her friends are starting to date, or how she talks about boys, and enter that discussion with her.
Also, think about how your own marriage reflects the rewards of purity. You are the first example she sees of faith-filled marriage. Be open with your maturing daughter about the blessings of that. If she sees a husband & wife in love & honoring each other, she will see some of the promises of marriage. Consider how her peers are dealing with the topic, and don’t let the outside world seem more comfortable than you are.
God has many blessings to offer her – and He desires a purity of heart, mind, and body. Help her through the daily walk, not just the one-time discussion or event.
Coupons. I have three posts about using coupons, sales, and couponmom.com. Here is the one most relevant to coupon storage: http://jenuinejen.wordpress.com/2007/09/26/save-more-than-50-on-groceries-for-free/. I do NOT clip until I am ready to actually use the coupon. When I get the Sunday paper, with a Sharpie, I write the date on the outside of the circular (3/9 for yesterday’s paper). I store all the circulars in a Rubbermaid box. Then when it is time to go shopping, I use The Coupon Mom’s site to combine sales with coupons. For each sale going on at a particular store, she lists a relevant coupon (if applicable) next to the item. So, if Souffers Pizza is on sale and there was a coupon February 17th SmartSource circular, there would be a note next to the item 2/17 S. Then you go and clip only the coupons you need for your shopping trip. Using coupons combined with sales takes a bit more planning and forethought but the savings are incredible. If you read my posts and have any questions after reading them, let me know and I will do my best to answer them.
Purity. My children are only 4. I think 12 is an appropriate time to talk about purity with your child. I tend to agree that if you do not do it soon, then her friends will have lots of influence on her. Personally, as a 12 year old I would have been uncomfortable talking about this with my dad, whom I love and adore. I could not really talk to him about this until I was more comfortable with the subject, much later in my teenage years. My parents did drive home the importance of abstinence. Anytime I had a hypothetical question (what if I became pregnant and I was still in high school) my mom’s response was you will not do anything to become pregnant so this is not an issue with us. It would kind of drive me crazy as a teenager. Still, I did save myself for my husband and looking back on it I am so glad that is how she responded to those questions.