Monthly Archives: October 2010

Blindness was comfortable


Wow! David Platt knows where to hit and exactly how hard to punch.

Chapter 6- HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH? American wealth and a world of poverty

David talks about all of us having blind spots- areas that need to be discovered so we can fix them and live like Jesus calls us to. Most of the time, we don’t realize they exist, even when someone points them out to us. “Part of our sinful nature instinctively chooses to see what we want to see and to ignore what we want to ignore.” Pg 108

Mark 10:21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Jesus saw the rich mans blind spot, and that was his love of possessions. So He called him out on it.
So, then, what if he told you and me to sell everything we have? What if he told us to sell our houses for simpler living arrangements? What if he told us to sell our cars for more modest ones- or for no cars at all? What if he told us to give away all but a couple of sets of clothes? What if he told us to empty the savings account we have been building for years if not decades? What if he told us to change our lifestyles completely? Pg 121
What if??

I’m thinking. We have a nice house, but I’ve been longing for a nicer one. I tell myself we NEED another bedroom so the boys don’t have to share. What I’m blind to is the blessing of a roof over our heads, running water, and heat in the winter. I am blessed. As a family we have two vehicles to drive. I have excess, and wants, and months where we are stretched. What do I do with that? I go on, blind to much. Where do I go from here? I’m still wrestling with that, so I’ll just leave you with a few quotes that I highlighted from chapter 6.

“I wonder at some points if I’m being irresponsible or unwise. But then I realize there is never going to come a day when I stand before God and he looks at me and says, `I wish you would have kept more for yourself.` I’m confident that God will take care of me.” Pg 123

“We sell them and give them away because Christ in us compels us to care for the needy around us.” Pg 126

“Why not begin operating under the idea that God has given us excess, not so we could have more, but so we could give more?” Pg 127

“The way we use our money is an indicator of our eternal destination.” Pg 138

This is me, still struggling. Wrestling with myself hopefully, and not Jesus. Trying to figure it all out.
For more insights on chapter 6, go visit Marla.

Purity

Today I promise I will wait
Agreeing to stay pure.
Because I know God loves me and
His blessing is in store.

Because I know there are some things that happen only once and value my own purity; I’m choosing abstinence.

My body is God’s temple and I want to keep it pure. A precious gift I’m giving to the one I’m waiting for.

So I will be reminded every time I wear this token. A three-strand chord entwined in love is never quickly broken.

Because I trust that Jesus has a special love for me. I choose to love and honor Him by waiting patiently.

This is taken from a bookmark that holds the purity ring. It says Cross gifts on it, and it is simply beautiful. The ring itself says “today, I will wait agreeing to stay pure because I know God loves me and His blessing is in store.”

My 14 year old daughter is on the receiving end of some fierce prayers right now. I honestly cannot believe what she is bombarded with on a daily basis. It brings me to tears, and on my knees seeking Jesus.

I am proud of her for sitting through our discussion on purity, and for her honesty in sharing what is happening in her school. IN HER SCHOOL!! I am proud of her and the statement she is making when she wears this ring. I love her so much. I want to shelter her and don’t know how, aside from locking her in the house. I pray that I am doing enough, and saying the right things, but she really thinks I just don’t get it. And she may be right. I don’t want to get it. It’s too difficult for me to think about it long enough to understand. So I’m asking you to pray. Pray for my daughter, your daughter, your granddaughter, neighbors daughter- just pray for the youth of today. Sons and daughters alike.

Weekend Re-cap

It’s tough to be a mom and have two kids doing different activities in different locations at the same time. Can someone just split me in half and put my heart back together?

Friday night Brooke danced at the JV football game and the boys raced. I’ve attended all the other football games to watch her dance, and missed the boys racing on those nights. This night was different in that Zach moved up out of the Restrictor class to the Open Wing class. Instead of racing with boys aged 10-16, he was now racing with 16++. My baby racing with grown men! I wanted to be there for that first time.

Brooke tells me they had their best performance ever, so YAY! I’m sad I missed it baby girl, but thank you for understanding. Matthew had an astounding night. He passed a few cars, and ended up finishing 5th in the feature. He is making great strides, and he’s only just turned 7, so I am so proud of him.

Zach moved up and qualified 3rd fast, won the heat race and won the feature. It was so awesome to see that smile back on his face, and to see these grown men coming up and praising him for doing so well. My heart swells! It was amazing.

Saturday brought another football game, this time Varsity played at Lucas Oil Stadium, and Brooke danced at pre-game. She was right, best performance ever. My baby girl is so beautiful all the time, but when she dances, she is absolutely radiant! I can’t take my eyes off of her to see what the whole group is doing. God has gifted her with dance. It DID NOT come from me.

I left the game early and rushed to Martinsville to see the boys race again. We had never been to this track, and don’t think we will ever go back. It was too small and sandy dirt, so they were sliding all over the place. Good experience for them, but not enjoyable.

Church yesterday was awesome! The sermon was about Abraham, and what to do when you don’t know what to do. One thing that still sticks in my mind is this…God doesn’t want you to follow a plan, He wants you to follow HIM!

The boys went to the woods after lunch, and Brooke and I spent some quiet time together, then we went to the grocery store. Busy weekend, and I don’t really feel like I accomplished much. I’m ready for the busy season to come to a close, and spend some time with my family at home.

Be still

I’m not a patient person. It’s not a virtue that abounds in me, but I do try to work on it. Mostly.

A couple of months ago I wanted something. I thought it was going to happen. The excitement was there, and then the nerves. I said “if it’s meant to be it will be, if not, God will close the door.” But I believed that He wasn’t going to close the door. Then He did. Closed it with a bang, and I was hurt. There were tears and questions, but I got over it and did believe again that it wasn’t supposed to happen for me. I moved on and was enjoying where I was.

Last week it came back up in the forefront of my life. The opportunity is there again, but this time I was leary. There were nerves that didn’t exist before. Should I want this when I’m happy? Am I supposed to do this?

I prayed about it, and enlisted prayer partners to ask Jesus to just give me an answer. A flashing neon sign if you will. After a few days of silence, I began to wonder if this was His answer. No answer means don’t go for it. Then I started thinking about free will. Is it me using free will if I went for it when I wasn’t supposed to? Because then He could just shut the door again, so it really wouldn’t be that bad. All of these thoughts were running through my head, and I started to over analyze all of them.

Talking with some people that I really respect helped me sort out my feelings, so I went for it. Now I’m waiting. Not so patiently. Actually, this morning I was going to talk to someone and see if I could find anything out, but as I was thinking about it, His voice whispered in my ear to Be Still. So I listened, and I was still. So, this is me, blogging it out, as patiently as I can.

I don’t want to give more information yet, but I promise I will either way when I find out. It’s a story where it makes me uncomfortable, but God might be choosing to stretch me and use me. We’ll see.

Now is not a good time

Chapter 4 of the Radical read along, and let me just be really honest here…I want to quit. So badly. I just want to lay this book down and not think of it again, because it makes me feel broken, lost, confused, and convicted. I don’t like feeling this way. Guilty too, I almost forgot the guilt. I keep waiting for a happy chapter. One filled with how much God loves me and appreciates what I’m doing. Or just how He loves me even when I’m not doing anything to grow His kingdom, but just sailing along on my own, taking care of things.

That’s how I was living before this book changed my perspective. Every chapter is tough. They make me want to change myself, and the world around me. But how? I’m just me and now is really not a good time. See, I’m one of those people that has supported missionaries, but thought “that’s not for me.” Surely God doesn’t want me to go to the ends of the earth when my family is here…and comfortable. Maybe when the kids are grown I’ll be able to travel to the less fortunate and serve in some way. Maybe.

Jesus called us to make disciples of all nations in Matthew 28. Am I saying no? How can I? Really, how can I say no to Jesus, and how can I make disciples of all the nations? Sadly, saying no has become way too easy. Making disciples can only be accomplished by humbling myself, confessing my weakness, and accepting God’s grace. Only by the GRACE of God!

“He created human beings, not only to enjoy his grace in a relationship with him, but also to extend his glory to the ends of the earth.” (pg 65) The great why of God deals with a global purpose. It’s not just my neck of the woods. Global.

“God blesses his people with extravagant grace so they might extend his extravagant glory to all peoples on the earth.” (pg 69) How great is that? He blesses me with his grace, so I can share his glory with the world. Be a disciple, and share his glory. He blesses me, and I choose to extend that to others, not just ignore it and go on about my life. That’s good. And scary too. It’s making me step outside of my box of comfort, and take a hard look at myself.

I don’t like what I’m seeing, so I’m praying. God is working on me, and I’m trying not to say no anymore. Refine me Lord. Use me. Thank you.