Have you ever known what you were supposed to do, or what you wanted to do and been too chicken to do it? It’s a really sickening feeling in your gut, as you contemplate what you want to do, and how others will view your actions. Part of you is screaming, JUST DO IT, and the other is letting fear motivate actions. I was in that position tonight. What brought me out of it was my three year old son, Matthew.

My kids and I were having dinner at another home, where prayer before eating is not part of the routine. They started eating, and as I am sitting there, looking at my plate and my kids, I was weak. I was weak. In my moment of weakness, Matthew screams! I was horrified, and before I could say anything, he did it again. This time I heard what he was saying. Stop eating! We need to pray! My three year old stood up for Jesus, and held me accountable. He gave me the strength to pray for everyone, and I lived to tell about it. I have since used this as a learning lesson with my oldest kids. Though you think it may be awkward, it might be the only time some people experience prayer. It might be the only time Jesus is invited in, and the only time you introduce faith and thanksgiving into their home. So go ahead and push satan away, and bring Jesus into the house with you. He loves everyone!

Dear Lord,
Please forgive me for hiding You. You are nothing to be ashamed of, for everything I have is because of You. Thank You for my freedom to worship you, and share my love for You with others. I pray that I will always know Your will, have spiritual understanding, and walk in a manner that is pleasing in Your sight. Help me to be a witness to others, and spread Your love to everyone I come in contact with. Can You help me to be a light unto this world? And a light for my children, so that they will shine for You too? Thank You, Lord, for loving us so much that You died for us, for me. Amen

Since my daughter is the inspiration for this blog, let me tell you a little bit about her. She is “almost 11,” going on much older, beautiful on the inside and out. She is also very strong willed, like me, and that sometimes causes conflict. We are working on that! She loves the Lord, and has made a commitment to follow Him. At her tender age she knows so much. I am so proud of her, and am astounded at the amount of responsibility God has given us in raising our children to be followers of Him.

Brooke has danced since she was 2 years old, and about half of that time she has been on a performing team that dances in competitions. She has done very well, but last year was rough for her and her friends. There was a shake up at the studio she was in, and it caused turmoil. We made the decision to leave with some other people after much discussion, prayer and thought. The Lord has shown us many times, and in many different ways, that we have made the right decision and followed Him. The directors of the new studio are filled with faith and love for God, and they are missionaries of sort. Through them, and the dances they choreograph, and the music they choose, they are spreading the light of Jesus. It has been a blessing!

Of course I love all of her dances, and am impressed at her courage to go out on stage all by herself and do a solo. She is a little witness as she dances to “Talk about it” by Nicole C. Mullen. Her tap dance is so tough and funny, Hip Hop has been a fun challenge, Jazz production is amazingly good, and Lyrical is beautiful. Some people like lyrical, and others don’t. It’s not my husbands favorite, but it is mine. The movements are so fluid and perfectly choreographed to the music of “Never Alone” by BarlowGirl. They tell a wonderful story on stage, and it moves me every time. Are there tough days that you just want God to show up and let you see Him? That’s kind of the story behind this song.

Never Alone-Barlow Girl
I waited for You today
but You didn’t show
no no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
said You’d be there
and though I haven’t seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
and I can’t feel You by my side
so I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I’m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can’t explain why
such a deep, deep reassurance
You’ve placed in my life

We cannot separate
‘Cause You’re part of me
and though You’re invisible
I’ll trust the unseen

I wish I could play this for you. I encourage you to listen to it, and feel the words. It is beautiful, especially with my baby girl dancing to it. The message will give you hope and peace. We don’t need to See Him, just open your heart and feel His presence. He is always here, and we are never alone.

My dad and I had a great conversation this morning. We talked a little about forgiveness, and the peace you are left with when you partake in the act of giving it all to God, and not carrying the junk around with you. He asked me why did I think it took him so long to finally come to terms with that. Was the Lord hanging back wondering the same question? I said maybe God taught him a lesson, so that now he understands what it’s like to carry the burden and finally unload it, and he can better minister to people about forgiveness. With me it has to be a daily prayer. I need to ask God to use me and work through me to reconcile the feelings I have toward others, and to heal the hurts caused by them. I need to remind myself that just because I am forgiving them, that is not giving them any power, or saying that what they did was right or OK. I have to trust that God will deal with them on my behalf. I don’t need to worry about it. But I do have to have this same conversation with Him daily, or I notice resentment coming to the surface. And that is UGLY!

Forgiveness is a two way street. I have tried over the past month to put my issues aside and ask forgiveness. If I have had a tiring day with my 3 year old, and have to run back and forth with my other children’s activities, it has been really easy for me to take it out on my husband. It is sometimes too easy to be crabby to Brian, and put up a front for others that everything is fine. Is that because I know he loves me? Is that because he is the only adult here that I can speak to? Is it because I want him to share his feelings and frustrations with me? Maybe, but that doesn’t make it right. He has been away all day with his own struggles, and shouldn’t get the worst of me when he comes home. I am realizing this, and trying not to be selfish, like the only child that I am! Brian should get the best of me when he comes home, and that will set the tone for the evening. I am working on that, and have to let you know how quickly I progress. If I can give it to God before Brian comes home, things will be great. And when I don’t manage to do that, I need to apologize to my husband for my behavior, and ask for forgiveness. This reminds me of the song we sing at church called “I’m Forgiven.”

“I’m forgiven, because You were forsaken,
I’m accepted, You were condemned.
I’m alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
because You died and rose again!”

What an amazing gift we have been given! I hope that if there is something you have been carrying around, you will unload it today, and feel the awesome love and peace that is waiting for you with Jesus.

I have been doing a lot of studying lately. Studying the bible and scriptures, christian articles, journals, and such. I have also been more prayer focused. I used to say it was hard for me to be quiet and listen for God to speak to me, but have discovered that I don’t really need quiet at all. I just need to fill my heart with more of Him, and He talks to me all day. See, if my focus is on Him, He will quiet my heart and speak to me when necessary. Sometimes He gives me clarity of thought, or sends a scripture in my head. Have you ever had a moment that you sensed you had lived it before, or a coincidence that was in your face bold. Christian author Beth Moore calls those God Stop moments. Even the simple act of recognizing that He is in it, is giving Him praise that He deserves.
I really got off on a tangent there. The message of this post was supposed to be about prayer. Do you ever find yourself rambling on and on, with “Lord, I just ask that you would?” Well, Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-“Ask and it will be given to you.” I read an interesting article about asking God with a question mark. When we ask with a question mark, we expect to receive an answer. Let me give an example. If I have a friend that I would like to go to lunch with, I could ask her in one of two ways. Can you meet me for lunch tomorrow, or I just ask that you would meet me for lunch. I know that with the first, I will receive an answer. Granted, it may not be the answer that I am looking for, but an answer will be given. The second option is weak and open ended. When we ask with a question, we are submitting, turning it over. Isn’t that what God asks us to do?

I want to welcome you to this blog. I have been inspired lately by some people that I don’t even know, and felt compelled to share that with you. My family and I have also been lifted up in prayer by friends and family, and some people that we don’t know very well. It amazes me, that in your darkest hour, all you have to do is cry out, and people are glad to pray for you. I have found that it isn’t easy for some people to let go, and ask for help. Not me, not anymore. I have felt the peace wash over me, and seen prayers answered in part already. What an awesome feeling! I explained it to my husband like this. Jesus is always with us, and He’s begging us to give Him our troubles and worries. Some refuse to listen to Him. I, on the other hand, feel like I dump a wheel barrow at His feet! What a relief that I don’t have to do it all alone. Jesus said that we will overcome if we patiently endure. He never promised that it would be easy. In fact, it is sometimes easier to follow satan than it is the Lord. That’s where I stand up and say I want to do what is pleasing in His sight only. I know that we will overcome this, and come out better and stronger because of this struggle. I have that faith.

I also believe that God has led me to create this blog. I have been a “lurker” to a couple of really good blogs, and they have enriched my life so much. When I was struggling with what to name it, I prayed for help. I then opened my bible and it fell open to Proverbs. Guidance for victory jumped out at me from chapter 24, verses 5 & 6. Let me read it to you. “A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers.” I feel like I am waging war against satan right now. How do I gain wisdom and knowledge? By studying God’s Word, He gives me guidance. I read it and etch it into my mind. Verses come to me throughout the day, in time of need or not. That is God speaking to me! My advisers are many. My dad is the best, and my mom when she can get a word in! I also have a great group of friends who have the same beliefs, and we have started a small bible study. These things are essential.

I think we are all waging war with something. God has given us the directions. If we choose to follow Him, we will have victory.

I want to use this avenue and share thoughts, feelings, joy, prayers, sadness, and most of all Victories through Jesus Christ with you. I look forward to hearing from you as we start this journey together. I will be adding some links to a few of my favorite blogs, and hope you will be touched and inspired as well.