I ran across a notebook from Blissdom as I was cleaning the bedroom, and wanted to share what I wrote in one of the breakout sessions. The session was Fierce living from your Creative Heart. This was a tear filled session that really made me think. Here’s what I wrote.
What does my creative heart need and want in 2012?
My creative heart seeks peace, and to be fully present in each moment. I need love and acceptance from those around me and to be around others like me, who GET me. I feel like my heart is telling me to share my story. The ugly and the unique. I want the courage to do that, and I really want to build a community that we can help each other. Encourage!
My inner woman who lives inside of my creative heart wants me to know it will be ok. Trust in the plans He has for me and lean on Him to lead me through the journey. Trials will strengthen and refine me. I will come out a changed woman. A woman with a story to share. A woman who is better in ways I never imagined. A woman who is stronger than I ever knew possible. A woman who knows love and is overflowing with gratitude for the journey that sparked the change.
Six word memoirs
Having courage to tell my story.
Full of hope and yet afraid.
Can I do this? Will I?
Faithful yet timid. Desiring all strength.
Embracing life, choosing joy and love.
What is your inner self saying? Share with me?
As a mom, I find myself trying to etch certain memories into my brain and heart to be kept with me forever. Whether it be the big things in life, or even something small in the grand scheme of things. Whatever it is, touches me so deeply that I don’t want to let it go. Ever.
So I decided to keep a list of them here, and will continually add to them. Being a perfectionist, I naturally want to go back to the beginning of time to start the list…but I won’t. Yet…
I always want to remember how gracefully Brooke dances, and the beautiful smile on her face when she does it.
The way Matthew crawls onto my lap for bedtime prayers and he wraps himself around me.
The way Zach thinks he’s too big for a hug but he still lets me hug him anyway.
Matthew calls his morning oatmeal…oakmeal. It’s so dang cute!
And lastly, when I step back and just observe them, how much love they have for each other. Yeah, they argue and fight over silly stuff, but they also have these great moments in time together. Shared sibling moments that I never experienced, and sometimes just don’t understand. But I love experiencing them through their moments. I am so blessed!
PATIENCE TO WAIT DOES NOT COME FROM SUFFERING
LONG FOR WHAT WE LACK
BUT FROM SITTING LONG IN WHAT WE HAVE.
The Lord will do great things for me, and I will be filled with joy. I will sow in tears, then I will reap with songs of joy. If I go out weeping, Lord, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with me (Ps. 126:3, 5-6).
Please help me be willing to sow the seed of Your Word and to water it with my tears, believing You in the midst of my pain. If I do, You will be faithful to fill me with joy again. You will faithfully bring a harvest forth from my life. My suffering will not be in vain.
You, the God of all grace, who called me to Your eternal glory in Christ, will restore me and make me strong, firm, and steadfast after I have suffered a little while (1 Peter 5:10).
From Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word Day by Day.
Here you will find my devotional from Beth Moore. This was from last week, but is still making an impression on me, and maybe it will you too.
Blessed, merciful God, Your Word promises that those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
If I go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with me. (Ps. 126:5-6)
Help me to see that the promise is not made to those who simply have tears but to those who are willing to sow seed in the midst of their tears. Your Word tells us in Luke 8:11 that the seed is the Word. If I’m willing to keep believing and sowing Your Word, even when I am desperately hurting, you will bring me forth from this difficult season with songs of joy. Because of Your faithfulness, with joy I will draw water from the wells of salvation. (Isa. 12:3) Remember…GOD will give us VICTORY, but sometimes He will require every ounce of energy and cooperation we have in the process.