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I know I have talked about satan waging a war, and feeling his presence before, but why won’t he give me a break? I am so angry with him right now!! Yes, I am tired of fighting with you, but I will NEVER stop! I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. He is my everything!
There are times when I can feel him lurking..just waiting for the right moment. And then there are times that he comes up on a sneak attack, when I am not ready or prepared. See, I like to have plans, and the sneak attacks really mess with my plans. But then he knows that, and he wants to drag me away from the One who truly loves me and protects me. So I have been pondering that this week, and once again, Beth Moore has shown me the answer. The past two days in her Breaking Free Day By Day devotional have been on prayer. Yesterday was about how satan wants to see us do anything BUT pray. He doesn’t even care if we study the bible all day long, because he knows we need prayer to understand what we are reading and the power to live. So Pray!
Today’s scripture was Colossians 4:2. Devote yourselves to prayer: stay alert in it with thanksgiving. She said that discipline can fly out the window at times of temptation and weakness, we also don’t tend to think straight when we get a surprise attack, and that human nature is far too self-destructive to choose what is best at our weakest moments. The last line today was this. Prayer lets us walk in peace and victory enen when walking through a war zone. You know I love that. So today, spend a little more time talking to God!
Here you will find my devotional from Beth Moore. This was from last week, but is still making an impression on me, and maybe it will you too.
Blessed, merciful God, Your Word promises that those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
If I go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, I will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with me. (Ps. 126:5-6)
Help me to see that the promise is not made to those who simply have tears but to those who are willing to sow seed in the midst of their tears. Your Word tells us in Luke 8:11 that the seed is the Word. If I’m willing to keep believing and sowing Your Word, even when I am desperately hurting, you will bring me forth from this difficult season with songs of joy. Because of Your faithfulness, with joy I will draw water from the wells of salvation. (Isa. 12:3) Remember…GOD will give us VICTORY, but sometimes He will require every ounce of energy and cooperation we have in the process.
I have moved! Not really with a lot of thought, but just kind of on a whim. The allure of all the bells and whistles won me over. Now I just have to learn how to do all this stuff. Visit me often!
There’s something that’s been bothering me since Sunday. I just need to get it out, and I have prayed about it, but I also want your oppinion. Let me start off by giving a little family background. My maternal grandparents took me to church when I was a kid, and I was baptized around age 9 I think. My mom would attend sometimes. During my teen years I went to a much smaller church with my best friend. We were active in the youth group there. I went off to college and strayed away from church. (There are two branches to this tree, so bear with me please. ) The first branch is my husband. I actually met Brian at college. I shared an apartment with two friends, one who left me way too soon! Love ya Stace!! Brian also had an apartment two doors down. It was my first year, and his last. He graduated and went to Purdue for two more years. I finished college and moved back home to start my nursing career. I was working crazy hours, and church never seemed to fit into my schedule. Brian proposed on Christmas day, and we were married in July after he graduated. We didn’t have a church, so we picked one that was about halfway for both our families to drive to. We met with the pastor, and had one session of pre-marital counseling. It was really good. We later received a phone call that the pastor had left, no details, but if we wanted to get married, we needed to provide a pastor, or take their fill in. We chose my uncle, and he flew in and performed a beautiful ceremony.
Skip forward about 8 years. This is the second branch, and it involves my dad. I don’t recall him ever attending church when I was little. My mom’s dad told him he had to be baptized to marry my mom, so he did that, but wasn’t much of a follower. He believed in God, but wasn’t living it. Long story short, I wish you could meet him and hear his testimony. He is filled with the Holy Spirit, and it flows out of him when he speaks. Dad was at a low place, and he cried out to Jesus, and instantly dad felt His presence. From that moment on, he has been an inspiration to me and many others. So Brian and I started taking the kids to church. A really big church, where it is easy to get lost in the crowd. I joined a small group for a bible study, but Brian wouldn’t go because it’s not his thing. He was baptized 4 years ago, on the same day as his brother.
This is where the story gets hard. I feel like just attending church on Sunday is not enough, and he has a different view. I have tried many times to initiate a bible study with him, and failed. I pray for him, and I try to be the good example for him, but it seems like everywhere else he goes, there is more darkness than light. He is in a constant struggle in the sand, and it is very hard for us both. Well racing has taken quite a few of our weekends, and church attendance has not been up to par. This past Sunday was the first time we had been in 3 weeks, I think. The sermon series is on the “one anothers” in the bible. Love one another, forgive one another, be compassionate to one another, and this week was about Colossians 3:16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. So we sang, we praised, and we worshipped for the whole hour. It was amazing, and I could feel His presence with us. It was powerful and moving. I could not stand still. Deep down I knew that the only One who hears me singing and thinks it is a joyful sound is the Lord, but it didn’t matter. I just can’t describe to you how great it was! Now, Brian was standing right next to me, but the only time I really noticed him was when I heard his big sighs. I was filled with joy and gratitude. My feeling lasted until later that night when I was trying to talk to Brian about it. I wanted to know if he felt it too. I was disappointed to hear that he had a different experience. He doesn’t like to sing, and was bothered that it lasted the whole hour. He was irritated that he didn’t see the pastor, and so self focused that his back and feet were hurting. I know that the experience was different because my heart and eyes are open, and his aren’t. That doesn’t make it any easier. My dad has told me that I can’t push Brian, he has to come to it on his own, and that is so hard. I wanted to tell him that God was in that place, and maybe if he wasn’t so self absorbed in his own thoughts, he would have noticed. I just keep praying for him to open his heart, and for the Holy Spirit to fill him with such force that he knows what an awesome gift we’ve been given. I know I can only continue to pray, and I will, because I love him, and want him to be the spiritual head of our household. If anyone has any suggestions, or could just pray for Brian as well, I would greatly appreciate it.
Every day I have something to add to this blog. Something comes into my head, and a new post starts forming in my head. Unfortunately, I can’t get everything else to stop so I can actually put it down in writing. I don’t proclaim to be a writer, but some of the thoughts were good. I just can’t think of any of them right now! I need to find more time, more down time. I am not a morning person. My daughter has to be at school by 7:25 am, and she in not a morning person either. I get up, let the dogs out, and then go into her room to wake her up. The entire process is taking longer each day. She is very hard to wake up, and I really just want to crawl into bed and snuggle back to sleep with her! But we trudge on, and when I come back home from taking her to school, I wake up the boys and my hubby, and start the routine all over again.
There are a few good things about getting up early. One is being able to see the sunrise. I started taking pictures of it, and it just reminds me about God’s grace, and His love and amazing creation. The splendor of it sometimes takes my breath away! I have a few photos of the moon, and some giant marshmallow clouds covering the sun, with huge rays peeking out and reaching to the ground. I’ll have to share some with you if I can narrow it down. I already have over 200, and my plan is to make a digital scrapbook. More of a faithbook, when I get around to it.
The second thing about getting up early…….caffeine free diet coke from the fountain at the gas station on the corner! If I am lucky enough to have a few extra minutes, I’ll swing in there and splurge on one. The 44 0z. will last me all day, because I sip it slowly while I guzzle my water with green tea.
I’ll leave you with some things that I have gotten accomplished lately. I have been in an organizing funk lately, which is also not me. I have been through recipe books, and compiled a three page list of main dishes and sides, then formulated a six week meal plan. The first meal was tonight, spicy pork stir fry with brown rice and broccoli. It was very good! Tomorrow is creamy chicken in the crock pot because I have a scrapbooking workshop. I have also cleaned out the kitchen cabinets and pantry, with the help of Brooke and Zach. I am so pleased that I can open up the tupperware or pots and pans cabinet without something falling out on the floor! My next step is getting everything on a calendar, that is centrally located in the kitchen, to keep track of everyone’s schedule. Maybe I can also post some pictures of the meal plan binder, and inspire you to have freedom from the constant “what’s for dinner?” from the kids and hubby.
This weekend is the last race of the season for Zach, and I still haven’t explained to you what quarter midget racing is. Add that to my to do list. I’d better go put that on my calendar!